“If you knew you would soon die, and you had one chance to make a phone call, who would you choose and what would it say?” “And why aren’t you waiting?” — Stephen Levine
Your relationship may have started off great. Think back to your first date, the excitement of meeting someone new and the fire in your eyes.
- You should feel completely happy about the relationship because it seemed so natural and easy.
- You may need to let your partner know that things are not going well with you or your lover.
- You and your partner may not be ready to make a major change at once.
- You can check the following signs to see if you are in a relationship that is not working.
1. Feeling distant?
It’s a horrible feeling. Do you feel that your partner and you are so far apart, you can’t communicate across the divide between them?
There is something wrong if you feel there is a gap between you two. These feelings can indicate that there is something missing in a relationship, just as we look at our bodies to see if we are sick.
Perhaps there was a time when you were able to communicate without opening your mouths. But now, one of you isn’t communicating visually.
Perhaps you aren’t feeling like communicating with your partner or it is “sure” that you’ll be doing the same thing tonight.
It’s possible to give yourself a mental workout trying find the source of the distance, but it is common for people to create that distance by “checking out” of a relationship. It makes it easier to say goodbye when the inevitable happens.
2. Who Moved My Warm Fuzzy Feelings
Consider your partner. What has changed in your body? Did you smile? Did you smile?
If you did, your relationship is in trouble. Once upon a time, every thought of your lover made it melt into the ground. This one might already be gone if you only have thoughts of your lover now as frustrations or sadness.
3. No More Sex
This is the most obvious sign that your relationship has ended.
Every relationship experiences dry spells and slow periods of lovemaking. But it is the complete lack of desire to be loved that indicates how bad your relationship is.
4. Fighting all the time
I will be the first to admit that couples do fight from time-to-time. It’s okay to have a few fights.
You and your lover are fighting too much if you keep your neighbors awake for days with your arguments, or if your partner has been making snide remarks about your partner for days. Couples would never learn much about each other if they didn’t fight.
Problems arise when you spend more time fighting than relaxing. This is a sign that you don’t like your partner.
Simply put, if you don’t want to fight, there is no other way than to end the fighting.
5. Hate, Hate and Hate
Are you surrounded by hate? Are you and your partner picking on each other’s tastes in music, food or friends?
If you are annoyed by someone in any way, such as the way they pour water or the sound they make in the shower, you have to work hard to maintain a good relationship.
Another thing to think about is that maybe this person is really annoying. Or maybe you are. It doesn’t matter what your feelings are, it is better to get out of a relationship you don’t like or hate than to stay in one. Get out.
6. Are You Scared of the Future?
You two loved planning together for a long time. You shared your time with each other by enjoying weekend picnics, summer vacations, and shopping trips.
Your partner now asks you about a Mexico trip this summer. You completely ignore it. Maybe you suggest that you go to see your partner’s family during Spring Break. Bad sign.
Don’t assume that this is the end of your relationship. Talking can help. If you and your partner don’t want to make any plans together, it could be a sign that you are afraid that you won’t be there when the time comes for that plan to take effect.
You can’t both imagine a future vacation together. How can you plan a relationship that will lead to children or marriage?
These six signs do not necessarily mean that you cannot save your relationship. However, if any of these signs are ringing bells for you, you may need to take a closer look at what you really share.
The relationship is ultimately up to the couple to decide if it is worth the effort. Although I don’t recommend you ignore these signs, I would suggest that you speak to your partner before you decide you are Splitsville.